By Dan Lehane (@madDANgerous)
Von Miller, Linebacker for the Denver Broncos and Texas A&M alum, normally posts some fairly inspiring tweets for his “tweeple” (as he most commonly refers to his followers). Unfortunately, the types of people spending a majority of their time on twitter probably aren’t the best audience to be preaching to about motivation. After a brief moment of re-dreaming that high school fantasy of becoming a pro athlete they go back to reading tweets from @StephenAtHome and @KendallJenner (the newest/hottest/next to set a record pace for marriage and divorce in the Kardashian family). I’m pretty sure @KendallJenner is probably too young for marriage at the moment but I won’t look up her age because it will just dash my dreams.
Back to @MillerLite40. This is what we’ve been waiting for! If you needed a textbook tweet for a dissertation or to put on your résumé and pretend you wrote it, look no further. First we’ve got Von telling us what he sees, and that is what Twitter is all about; getting a glimpse of the world through the eyes of a superstar. The subject matter may not be so exciting, but when viewed through Von’s eyes who cares if all he’s talking about is hairpieces. This. Is. Gold. Next the Miller faithful get his opinion on the matter. Using what will probably prove to be a timeless hashtag, Von Miller couldn’t go wrong expressing his disapproval with #nobueno. He follows up with a daring combo of hashtag and unintentional mention. Or is it unintentional? Click on that username and you find that Von Miller has just included a clever plug for his lifelong friend, Linda Hairston. Follow Linda if interested in retro tweets from the golden age of 2009. Linda thought it best to end her tweeting career in December 09 after she had completed a solid body of 13 tweets. Unfortunately, as is the case with many of the classic dormant twitter accounts, @herhair was hacked in June of this year forever tainting what would have gone down in history as an account to remember. One can learn an important lesson from Von Miller’s conclusion to this tweet. When in doubt, Lol it out. This man isn’t down with the modern trend of #superlonghashtagsthataredifficulttoread. I thank you Von Miller for fitting perfection into 140 characters or fewer.